We Three A family

The other day I was walking around out back
And out there some little ones were playing
Alittle boy and a young girl on the patio they were staying
Had chalk out like mine did when they were small
With no cares  no worries at all
Drawing and writing making shapes
I asked well what does it say ?
The little boy jabbered,not sure what he said
I asked the other and she said she wrote we three is our family
Momma,brother and me..can you read that ? Do you see?  
Like mine who grew up thinking family meant three which didnt include me
Told over and over this other man was brought to them three
Their dad didnt belong,No this other person is here you see?
That means it is supposed to be.
They were raised while small to change their thoughts about all
I longed for family , never thought it would fall
Depression  I have I am sure I was not easy I couldn't imagine  
Thought til death do us part.I never strayed, with them to stay.
Some times rough, Some times happy we had our lot to live
Thru it all we would stand.Guided with faiths hand
Sometime it would storm sometimes shine
In our home I bought to live our family time.
As I think back I waited to have wife and kids
Never did I think my life would so far skid.
I dont know my kids.They dont know me.
waters sometimes rough,never did I say thats enough!
She not once said we may not make it If we dont get help.
I would say lets GO right now we have babies lets find a way.
I said I was only married one time.
You assured me you too.the family is forever,

Home

They say you can't go home again
I would like to go back for a last time
The empty house has memories of mine
In the back bed rooms our babies slept
Once they were sleeping  around we crept.
I thought if i could touch the place feeling
The brokenness inside me may start healing
Outside I am someone else hoping inside i could find myself
I would love to be there again but alot of ghosts feel my memories
They still linger at the house that built we.
NOw empty I cant go back its a place destroyed, no longer a family
You Married and moved our kids to a place up north
Turned away from what we started saying we had no worth
I took mental pictures for years of what we would do
What we would name our babies the four of us staring with me and you.
If I went back in our home i would be alone .
I would go there and leave a piece of me.
The dreams and hopes of a long life with you
The ghosts would haunt in a roaring sound of silence too.
I would have like to go back knowing there is a piece of me
That will never leave
It wasnt our house ..It was our home..
I have left and do the best I can
I have since got lost in who I am
I have always hoped if we could go and see
I would have a feeling of healing
And take with me a just a memory

19 Years

 Nineteen years ago we stood before God and family
 to start our journey.We started to make our own happy
 We waited to have the babies join our home.
 The journey was not always easy ,but we agreed
 we would make it work thru the good and bad.
 I am so sorry for the times i made you sad.
 I tried the best i could, i grew up without a dad
 i didnt have much of a model to watch and learn
 I wanted mom and dad,for that I yearned.
 I grew up in a home that was broken.
 I grew up with a feeling of lonesome.
 I played sports to get my mind off of it.
 Baseball, Football, Basketball helped it
 at the end of the day i went home with one missing
 I often watched and waited and he wouldnt come home
 I said to my self while young .When I have children
 they will have the security of knowing mom and dad were
 home at the end of each day.We would show them the right way.
 Somewhere along the way the straight road went awry.
 Its okay i thought i married for life we would make it again right.
 I was always faithful and I trusted,even when our road was maybe busted.
 The two of us along with our babies would be alright and not doomed or crushed
 You said you wanted a divorce.Toxic people taliked and you listened.
 We took a trip the four of us ,came home happy !
 Until you went and were talked out of it.
 I said NO ! No ! we have babies to raise. You said you didnt care .
 I would have done anything to keep our babies parents together.
 You ramped it up ,got nasty sat out to humiliate and destroy a character.
 Turned friends and family against me .several still wont talk to me even family.
 Still i long for your hug , a kiss goodnight ,to be woken up with a lets go home honey
 I know though that just sounds funny.Today you are with our kids and stand in dad and 
 celebrate a christmas time that i wont have. Still thru the hell ..I love you .